The Townshend Acts

Hi everyone! Okay, so, to the point, this mostly drunken man named Charles Townshend- Champagne Charlie- decided to tax the colonists for bad behavior. Actually it wasn't a tax, but a "tax". The colonists were to pay for the armies and certain popular goods imported from Britain. They were The Townshend Acts. (If you ask me, this dude had a liitttle tooo much champaannggeee. I hate to see what his liver looked like.) Anyways, this pretty much angered the colonists even more, and even though Townshend died from the flu, (if you ask me, it should have been liver failure), colonists were boycotting Brit's goods by the suggestion of Samuel Adams. (The person, not the beer.)
Well... things still don't get better. Parliament gets a new leader named Lord North, who often fell asleep in Parliament. (Sleep deprivation due to stress or too much champagne? You decide.) Anyways, he had at least half a brain and liver, so he could see the loss the British Merchants were taking. (They couldn't afford their fish'n chips. :( )
Well, he lifted the tax on everything- except tea, which the stubborn king and his pickled liver refused to lift, as he was determined to tax those Americans and their rabbit-eating ways. Now, lets break for a commercial:

Sam Adams: Hello, ye Americans! How art thou? This tax is okay I do believe, but tea should be tax free I say! Tax free! I think I'm going to stir up some anger and false hysteria! Now, remember, don't buy my product if you are under 21!

Good day all, now I am hopping off to organize an AAA 1767.